Working as a MC on world famous Bourbon Street, I encounter many idiotic tourists that are completly clueless as to what will fly in the city of New Orleans during Mardi Gras Season. So I've compiled a list of rules for out of towners to go by to keep from getting on locals everlasting nerves.
1. The street is NOT your bathroom. If you need to piss OR drop a duece, fight the crowds and make your way back to your hotel room. Or pay a little to a shop or bar owner to use their facilities. NOPD loves to arrest people with their pants still around thier ankles.
2. DONT litter. Its understandable that trash cans on the streets become full quickly during parades and drunkan nights along Bourbon Street but do your best to throw your trash into one. Its nothing worse then slipping and falling over a hand granade bottle.
3. Buddy-up with friends. Sorry to inform you clueless fools about this, but this is STILL New Orleans. Our crime rate is VERY high especially during Carnival. Pick-pocketers love a drunk, wondering, confsued tourist thats all by themseleves. Have a meet up point with friends in case you get lost in the crowd.
4. BRING YOUR CREDIT/DEBIT CARD Having your debit or credit card is the safest thing you can do. Having alot of bills on you makes you a target for pick-pockters.
5. Lucky Dog Hotdog Stands are not your friend. Dont even do it...I dont care how drunk you are. I have literally seen a man wash his hands in the lukewarm hotdog water.
6. DONT pet the police horses. Thats the equilvilant of you petting a HUMAN officer. Those animals are trained to back people into walls in case of an emergency. Your drunk ass petting it is simple agrravating the horse and the policeman.
7. Flashing your breasts is not nesscary to receive beads, and do it around a police officier and see how fast they whip out the handcuffs. Dont let those old imagaes of "Girls Gone Wild" fool you.
8. Always have your ID. I dont care if you look 55. I know personally at my job we dont let you in unless we can phyiscally scan your ID. We do that as saftey for patrons and us.
9. Doing stupid crap like fighting will only get you arrested. And let me tell you about New Orleans Police Department. They will put you in a van with everyone else they've arrested and leave you there till their shift is over. Which is usually anywhere from 8 to 12 hours. Then after being booked in jail I promise you wont be released till AFTER Mardi Gras day.
10. The hospitals down here are shitty. That means watch your alcohol intake. Having to be transported to a hospital for alcohol poisioning is time consuming and it fucks up the trip for EVERYONE.
Follow these simple guidelines and you'll be sure to have a great time...hope to see you on the street! Dont forget to buy me a SHOT!
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